Hard to believe almost two months since I’ve written.  Life has been full of ups and downs, keyword being FULL.

I don’t really know where to begin to catch up on things. I developed some new tummy problems and went back to Duke early in May for yet another colonoscopy. Thankfully no sign of polyps or inflammation. I had already eliminated dairy, high fiber, and then lately salad from my diet to try to curb the inflammatory-bowel-disease-type symptoms. I’ll have a good day or two and think I have something figured out and then it reappears. I also continue to struggle with fatigue. Most evenings I have to lay down a couple hours as soon as I get home from work.  I occasionally do some grocery shopping or have a night meeting but am utterly wiped-out after that.  This may be somewhat related to the intestinal issues, or just linger effects of treatments, I’m not sure.

My white blood count continues to be low. This month I found out I’m very B-12 deficient and am now getting weekly shots for that. I hope this will help my energy level, but so far I can’t tell that it has. Last week I found out I have osteoporosis, too, so the doctor put me on big doses of D3 and calcium. I think they want me to do a prescription for that, too, but I haven’t decided.

When my oncologist first mentioned 6 months ago that I was in danger of developing osteoporosis, it was such good news to me. I thought–wow, he thinks I’m going to live long enough to get short someday! It immediately made me more optimistic. I didn’t really realize that someday would be so soon! Apparently I have had the perfect storm of surgeries and happenings to cause me to have fragile bones at age 40.  Maybe I’m naive, but I’m not worried at all about  it, and am still grateful for the boost of optimism it gave me then!

It is interesting, though, that in reading up on B12, calcium and D3 deficiencies, those could definitely explain the dizzy spells I was having a couple months ago. It also could explain exhaustion, diarrhea, and anxiety. It does not explain the increasing number of crinkly gray hairs, however. Maybe I’ll blame that on Charlie!

Speaking of Charlie, in late April he found out he’s officially in the nursing program at New River this fall! It will be a two-year program. He is taking the summer off from classes–after going 4 straight semester including last summer. Not that he’s had any extra time lately. He took a temporary job with the Census in late April because his appraisal work had still been so slow, plus he’s still been working some at the Tasting Room in Floyd. Thankfully his appraisal business has picked up some the past 6 weeks. I finally begged him to give up the TR job last week, so once the Census is done, he’ll be back to just one job for the summer!

Speaking of summer, Shayley’s summer is almost here. Just 4 days of school left. The 4th grade field trip to Monticello was Friday, and Charlie and I both took the day off to go.  I was so worried about not having the energy to make the tour, and did NOT want to have to resort to a wheelchair for Shayley’s sake. Charlie and I drove separately and got there 2 hours ahead of the bus. I laid down about an hour and was able to make it through the house tour just fine. Then I rested while they went to Thomas Jefferson’s grave.

Then after the rest of the class had left, the three of us checked out the Monticello vegetable garden. WOW! It was amazing. The cool weather crops were full grown and they were just putting in the warm weather things. It was so magnificent–yet it made me feel quite inadequate in thinking about our few little plants piddling along. Charlie made me feel better when he pointed out that if we had a full staff tending our gardens, they would probably look better, too!

We had hoped to camp at Sherando Lake National Forest Friday night, but they don’t take reservations and they were already booked by 8:15 a.m. Friday. So, we ended up staying in Staunton. I cannot stay in Staunton without thinking of the Statler Brothers, but I didn’t see them anywhere:-)

 Charlie and I love to go to the Green Valley Book Fair and we finally got to take Shayley. It is a dangerous place for 3 book addicts to go, but it’s hard to go wrong when books are mostly $1 to $4 each. And there was a bonus this time–they had used books; you could take all you wanted and just donate whatever it was worth to you!

Saturday, then, we went for a day visit to Sherando Lake, intent on taking Shayley to swim and fish. As soon as she came out of the bathhouse with her bathing soon on, she started coughing. It quickly became this scary cough and she felt sick at her stomach. For the first time in 4 or 5 years, she had an asthma attack, right then and there. She was terrified without knowing what it was. And I was scared, too, because just a few months ago I quit carrying an inhaler because I decided she didn’t need it anymore. WRONG! (By the way, I now know that people do NOT really outgrow asthma–attacks may be brought on by fewer things or less frequently, but the danger is still there.) I’m pretty certain the trigger in this case was people cooking out with charcoal–and the smoke settling in the valley there.   We got out of there as fast as we could, but Shayley still was not doing well. THANKFULLY, Charlie found an inhaler he had gotten a few months earlier because of burning his lungs by inhaling some gases.  This helped Shayley breathe better almost instantly, but we still headed up the road as she was now scared to be there.

We did get get to do some creek fishing (my favorite)  a little ways down the road. We have been fishing several times lately at my prompting–and it rains almost every time. So now, whenever a storm is rolling in, Charlie and Shayley rib me by asking if I don’t think it would be a good time to go fishing.

Traveling is often difficult for me–not being away from home, but being on the road and not near a restroom. I was VERY glad when we pulled up the driveway back home. Shayley, too, was glad not to be travelling up and down mountains, which she had discovered she didn’t enjoy. We were all anxious to check on our chickens, who are now 2.5 months old or so. Shayley was devastated when we could not find Rotini, a crippled, silver-laced wyandotte. Rotini suffered splayed leg and we had spoiled her as often as we could by holding her and hand-feeding her. We never found her, nor any sign of her. We don’t know what happened to her, though I expect a passing predator got her. She certainly couldn’t have gotten away from anything. Shayley was heart-broken, and still was today when she went out to check the chickens.

We had planned to take Shayley to Claytor Lake State Park today so she could finally swim, but there was a storm heading right that direction. So, after already loading into the car, we decided to head to Fairy Stone State Park instead. We were there nearly 4 hours before it rained. This time we were prepared with the inhaler and everything was fine. The first 3 hours I had no tummy troubles, which was wonderful.

We managed to go for a boat ride.   It was at once scary and thrilling to be on the water. I can’t swim, but had a life jacket on. I tried not to think of how deep the water was. We saw turtles sunning themselves and slipping into the water as we paddled near them.  We saw fish, of course, and then along a little alcove a little fawn alone.  Then, when we got the boat back to shore, Shayley and Charlie finally got to swim and I rested. 

Then, this evening Shayley and I put out a few more plants in our garden as it actually hadn’t rained here today.

Saturday, when we had gotten up and I realized I had failed to bring any of Shayley’s medicines with me, it occurred to me how very little traveling of any type we’ve done with her these last two years. Charlie and I have stayed away from home so much for medical trips that we’re used to just throwing our stuff in a bag and going. But she has not been with us on those trips and her joy in being out and about was obvious.

So, despite some downs, it has been a great weekend–and month–as we were out living: soaking up the scenery, buying books,  learning lessons, following the fish, then greening the garden, ALL together.

A couple weeks ago I got the opportunity to share my testimony at a friend’s church. The process of writing that really helped me put things in perspective.  (This coming Sunday, I’ll share it at our church.)

Then, we’re heading off to Smith Mountain Lake State Park to camp a couple days.

My next overnight medical trip will be in July when I go back to Duke for a day of tests including the PET scan to check the liver spot. We pray it is unchanged, or, even better, has disappeared.

Love to you all,

Lydeana

Dear Friends,

 Charlie and I made it to Durham a short while ago. It is a place I do not mind so much as it is has brought me help, mostly.

 We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with our families. It was so great to be able to eat and move about and be with family.

 Thursday night I had a few hours of upset tummy followed by the chills/shakes for a few hours. I would have thought it a mild bug except I had the same type episode last month. I remembered the last one was also on a Thursday and when I looked at the calendar I realized that both were exactly 16 days after fowlpox injections. I emailed the clinical trial doctor and he found it interesting and said we’d discuss it tomorrow.

 Tomorrow will be a long day, I expect. We have to get to the Duke Cancer Center at 7 a.m. for my initial lab work (they will access my port-a-cath and leave that needle in for CT injection later); around 9 a.m. I’ll see my oncologist and presumably get my last clinical trial injection; at 10 a.m. I’m scheduled for the CT scan. After that I can finally have breakfast and something to drink! Then, we will wait for my 1:30 appointment with my surgeon when we will hopefully hear results from the CT scan.

 Despite my efforts to be positive, I’m uneasy about what the results will be. I’ve been really strong the last 2 or 3 weeks, yet I occasionally have small pains or unusual sensations internally that always make me wonder. Hopefully it is just scar tissue from past surgeries. Please pray that I will have an accurate scan with no sign of cancer.

 Saturday I was able to attend the service at the high school for Mr. Keith. It is still hard for me to call him D.J. When I think of high school, it is the image of him at the chalkboard in 314 that comes first to mind. He liked the temperature cold and even then he wore short sleeves! While he taught us a lot of math, he taught us a lot more. I remember one analogy he used. I can’t remember the mathematical point, but I remember the life lesson. It was about the wedding ring and how it binds husband and wife by a symbolic never ending circle.  I remember how you don’t give up–laryngitis didn’t stop him from teaching trig. I remember how he wouldn’t stop teaching even 5 minutes before the bell, because 5 minutes times 25 kids was over 2 hours wasted. What a tremendous gift to have him as a teacher. And having Janet, too, was double the blessing. They perhaps helped mold more citizens of Floyd County personally than any other two people I know. 

 The acapella music at his service was so beautiful. The parents of a couple of singers used to play music with my dad and it transported me back to another place and time, revealing a connective knowing in my soul that needed no words. Similarly, grieving with Mr. Keith’s daughter, Jennifer, took me back nearly 30 years when we played in the softball infield together at Willis
Elementary. And Sharon Wood’s reflections on Mr. Keith were so insightful and reminiscent of him.

 Usually the closing of the casket is the hardest part of any memorial service for me. But this time, it was the rolling of the casket from the high school auditorium and out the front door; an extraordinary epoch ended when Mr. Keith exited the doors of Floyd County High School for the last time.

 With Love,

Lydeana

Dear Friends,

Well, I can’t sleep so I guess I’ll try to drain my mind of any extraneous thoughts.

Shayley seems to be doing well, at least on the outside, after the loss of Private. According to her blog update last night, though, she’s still upset inside (and takes it out on the rest of us.) She is especially sensitive to the mention of cats or the word “private” even if the kitten is not the subject. She and Charlie watched America’s Funniest Videos tonight and howled with laughter as usual, while I stayed cloistered in the extra bedroom away from the tv’s screams. It is good for them to laugh and I’m glad that enjoy it, though I do regret sometimes that all of Shayley’s favorite shows seem to involve a lot of screaming, which I have little to no tolerance for most nights. I guess Shayley gets her general sensitivity to words honestly. Twice in the past two days apparently-healthy visitors at our office have made conversational jokes about “surviving” and “staying above ground” and those sorts of things. I wish I weren’t such a sensitive person, and I try to laugh my way through it with everyone, but it is hard to take jokes about the balance between life and death when death’s General, cancer, has come into your body or your life. I realize that it must seem like I dwell on this too much, but it is difficult to escape—physically and mentally. This was brought home again with the death of someone I knew through work who died just recently, just 2 or 3 weeks after learning that he had cancer.

I continue to pray for everyone in this battle and for all of those who have lost loved ones, and I thank all of you for your prayers for us. Please continue praying. Love, Lydeana