November 22, 2009
Dear Friends,
I’m writing to let you know that I’ve had my strongest, most “normal” week in a long, long time. Thanks be to God!
Back during chemo, Shayley had commented that she couldn’t remember what it was like before I had cancer. That broke my heart. But by a few more months, I could scarcely remember either. Thankfully, THIS WEEK it has been coming back to us—as I not only worked all week, but also managed to have some energy left to do a few things in the evenings—including going to my first PTA meeting in a year. (I got to see Shayley win a blue ribbon for writing. Yeah!)
This weekend has been especially good, as I was able to go Christmas shopping for about 90 minutes by myself yesterday. I was able to walk around that entire time. Even two weeks ago I couldn’t have done half of that—I would have still needed the buggy you ride in. It is such a WONDERFUL thing to not only still be walking by the end of the day, but to be doing so in a pretty normal gait, rather than the slumped shuffle I had so long. I’m not ready to run any marathons—and am tired today, but it’s a more normal tired and not the complete exhaustion as before. I think I am finally stabilized and strong enough to begin exercising again this week.
This weekend has been reminiscent of good times in years past in several ways. Friday night we all sat in the living room together and watched the old TV show called Benson. Then, as some of you know, Charlie used to make wonderful sourdough bread all the time. Yesterday morning he put together “starter” for the first time in years. Then, he got to go hunting yesterday afternoon and brought home a nice size buck. So this afternoon we’ve had the tenderloins and sour dough and are preparing to can and jerk the rest of the deer.
It is not lost on me that a year ago today we were driving to Durham for my liver surgery the next day. Things looked pretty bad going into that surgery, but God has allowed me another year despite the advanced nature of the disease then. I am so grateful for that and to all of you all who have helped us in so many, many ways.
So many times we wonder why bad things happen. Have you ever heard anyone question why good things happen? We are such self-confident creatures that we tend to think that we deserve only what we perceive as good. We also tend to rely on our “own strength” as long as things are going well. I know that I’m guilty of that. We tend to seek guidance or help only in desperation.
In fact, Shayley and I were playing an electronic spelling game one night this week. I had started the game and got to a certain point, then she took over and gradually advanced to a higher difficulty level. Then I took over again and was trying to get her to stop helping me. She said, “Mom, I’m the one who got you to this point, why won’t you let me help you.”
Those words keep rattling in my head. As I’ve finally gained strength and set about to accomplish things myself, I wonder if God has whispered that in my ear?
Our visiting pastor today was talking about this being the day we especially celebrate Jesus is King. She commented on how it is so much easier to see Jesus as Savior, and thus think of his work as largely passed, when in fact, as King and Lord, he wants to be an active part of our everyday life. I think if I did that, it would take so much pressure off and would help me celebrate Thanksgiving every day of the year.
Wishing you all a great Thanksgiving, and please know how very thankful we are for you.
With love,
Lydeana
